another day

Another day or should I say weekend and it went fast. It seems I was so busy making everyone else happy from my cousins who spent the night with us friday. Then it was making McKenna happy which I never mind. Not only did she play with her favorite cousin but she also played with Delaney. She had a smile on her face the whole day. Then we also have the most important thing Camp out. McKenna and I put on our pajama's and no one else is allowed to join us we then find a good movie appropriate for McKenna's attention. We stay up until the movie is over. We climb in my bed get under the covers and snuggle and watch a movie.

This week was a big step for her. She got her first report card. I am so proud of her. She thought she was just queen of the world. Plus she has her third tooth loose. She is now not afraid and is trying to get the tooth loose every chance she gets. She thinks she is behind. All her other friends have lost 7 or more teeth. I always remind her to be happy with her current part of life. Don't hurry!! Mommy isn't in a hurry!!!

Yet today McKenna is miserable. She has a bad sore throat and cough and also a fever. I am doing my best to keep her healthy. Next weekend is Disney Princess on ice. She is definitely counting down. Plus her cousins birthday party. To even top that McKenna has been exposed to chicken pox's or as McKenna continues to call them chicken pop's. Hopefully we only have one more week of incubation before we see if she gets the chicken pox's.

Now I need to lay me down to sleep!!! I have the two busiest days are Monday and Tuesday because it is month end. I am still needing to work late tomorrow and get this at a good point.

Good Night!!
debbie

thinking

I have been thinking today on the Lord's day about how much I don't know. About how the answers aren't there for us at the drop of a hat. I am finally beginning to realize that I am not in control. Which I don't like. Because I am a single parent. I have to do things that two people usually do. I realize that because I have to think of everything and do everything. I realized that I was doing this in my walk with God. I constantly feel like I am walking around numb and missing out on friends and the things around me that God wants me to do and not what I want to do. As much as it frustrates me when someone ask me why I don't have something done and what is taking me so long.

I realize that there aren't too many people in my world that is a single parent. The ones that are single parents seem to have come full circle and they are no longer single!!! I didn't plan it this way. I truly thought that we could work through our problems and be there to raise our daughter. Today my favorite little girl was asking about her dad again. I finally told her that he lives here in town. I think it finally sunk in. I told her that he has other plans. There is no polite or easy way to say he doesn't want to be with us. How do you explain this to a six year old. If I could change it I would. She suggested that we pray for him again. You know I have done everything I can to go on with life and not look back. It was too painful to look back at the failure of a relationship of 6 1/2 years. She wants to see her dad. I don't know what to do about this. I need to protect her. Yet I know that God is her father and he is looking after her.

I am ready for something new in our lives. McKenna and I need someone to come in and be a part of our life. I am truly wondering what new experience God has coming our way.

Last night as McKenna got ready for bed she put on these pajama's that were too small. They had feet in them and when she put them on I realized that she is not my little short stuff. She is definitely growing. I just love talking with her. Her ideas are just amazing to me. Yesterday we did girls lunch. We called her Grandma and went to the salad bar at Frisch's. Home of the big boy. She is not the normal child. She ordered the salad bar and ate a salad and fruit. We read a book last night that talked about what to do when she gets angry!! Something that we all even adults need to work on.

I need to go I could blog for a while but I'll come back for another day.

New Year New Goals

I haven't done very good with blogging in the last 6 months or even longer. I am just too tired and too... OH well. I have been thinking about the New Year and what it has in store for me. Lately I haven't been too excited about it and yet I am trying to change that thought. I read a friends blog today and realized that I let in a negative thought. After Breast cancer I decided to not sweat the small stuff. Yet that is exactly what I have been doing. After having a bad week at work and wanting to go home and hide for the weekend. God had something else in mind. He gave me two of my favorite cousins in the whole family who came down today and we have just been hanging out. Took the kids to the Train show came back and let them play and we did nothing else. I realize now that I enjoyed so much just being myself. I don't have to explain anything to them. They take me for what I am worth. Thank you God for family like that!

Finally my little girl. She is growing so fast learning how to spell words. Learning how to read. She has really grown physically. Still short and tiny to the kids in her class. But still oh so much like her mother. I am so proud of the way she thinks and is always saying to me mom that is so momish!! Another words I am doing it again. Being a parent. I have so many goals,wants and wishes for her. Yet I have been reminded this past month. That God has goals,wants and wishes for us also. To put him first!!! I am struggling so bad right now. For every right decision I make I find the devil just sitting around the corner to put doubt and fear in my heart. Please Lord remimd me that not only are you first. But also keep my life in your hands. I could go on forever but I need to get to bed. I have a breakfast to fix in the morning and a hot tea I am looking forward too.

Good night!