life

It's pretty sad when you can't sleep because your head can't relax. Right now I should be sleeping, resting so that I can get up on time for work. My head is thinking of everything that is a wonder, an anger, a frustration. I don't understand why I see myself sitting on the sidelines and no one talking to me. I am not feeling God right now. I feel like he is ignoring me and not hearing me. I have been praying for a miracle and the day came and past just like any other day no answer no comfort no miracle!!!

Lately I feel like a bad mom I don't seem to have myself together as I normally do. My child and I are getting by day by day. I have messed up a few times and have been able to correct the situation. What I don't understand is why my child can't have a earthly father. I'm mad because everyone around me seems content and it looks like God is taking care of them and providing their needs. While I figure where and how to buy groceries, clothing for my child, gas for my car. On a paycheck that hasn't changed in two years. I normally have these areas of my life in working order but it's kind of hard when child support has stopped, pay raises have stopped and it seems like God has stopped. I need a small whisper from God and I don't seem to be finding that. I am writing this hoping it helps me see the small light from God not so that everyone can feel sorry for me that is not my wish. No one but me put myself in this situation.

I have so much more to say unfortunately my child just woke up from sleep and is wanting me to lay down with her. It's crazy it's 2:00 am in the morning and I am unable to sleep please let me sleep.

debbie